Resilience isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting up again and learning how to stand stronger each time. For those of us living with multiple sclerosis (MS), building resilience isn’t a luxury—it’s a daily necessity. From shifting symptoms to unexpected fatigue, MS tests our limits in ways most people never see.
But here’s the truth: building resilience is entirely possible. It’s not something you’re born with. It’s something you can develop—step by step, habit by habit.
Below, I share seven strategies I’ve used to strengthen my emotional core, steady my routines, and rebuild confidence after setbacks. These aren’t platitudes. They’re the bricks and mortar of a resilient MS mindset.
Why Building Resilience Matters with MS
The MS journey is full of uncertainties—episodes of weakness, cognitive lapses, and that creeping fatigue that defies logic. In such an environment, developing resilience gives us a foundation to weather both physical symptoms and emotional dips. It’s how we maintain a sense of identity and control, even when the disease tries to pull the rug out from under us.
Whether you were recently diagnosed or have lived with MS for decades (like I have), the ability to bounce back—to adapt—is vital. Building your resilience won’t cure MS, but it will change how you live with it. And I have lived with it for over 30 years.
Slowly but surely, we find joy in learning to live with the MonSter. It is not a case of fighting the beast, it is more about coming to an understanding.
My wife used to think that I focussed to much on the negative side of MS and she was right. Finding the positives will lead to happiness and contentment.
When MS first struck in my early thirties I was convinced I wouldn’t see my fortieth birthday. I was wrong, my next significant birthday will be my seventieth.
I regarded building resilience as some form of fitness training. I suppose it is but it’s about mental fitness not the ability to win cross-country races.
7 Powerful Steps to Start Building Resilience
Step 1: Reframe Setbacks as Signals
When something goes wrong—like a fall, a flare-up, or a bout of brain fog—it’s easy to view it as failure. But in truth, every setback is a message. And like mistakes, it’s also a learning opportunity. Building resilience starts with shifting your perspective: instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What is this trying to teach me?”
After my MS diagnosis, I interpreted every limitation as a defeat. But over time, I realised my body wasn’t letting me down—it was sending signals. When I started listening, adapting, and making small adjustments, I didn’t just survive—I grew. I became more flexible, more grounded, and more capable of facing whatever came next.
Mistakes and missteps are not the end of the road—they’re the beginning of wisdom. Building resilience means allowing each challenge to shape you, not shake you.
Step 2: Establish Daily Routines
Routines reduce decision fatigue and offer structure in a body that often feels unpredictable. Morning and evening rituals in particular can anchor your day and reduce anxiety.
For example, my Morning Routines start with porridge, tea, and focused writing. Evenings are quieter—TV, a good book, and sometimes a glass of Rioja.
Predictable routines may sound dull, but for those of us with MS, they are an emotional lifeline. Routine is a friend to MS, a reality I have great difficulty explaining to my wife.
Step 3: Set Micro-Goals
If big goals feel overwhelming, aim smaller. Set a single goal for the morning—then one for the afternoon.
Micro-goals help rebuild self-belief. You’re not waiting for a breakthrough. You’re banking wins. This is a cornerstone of building resilience.
Start with: “I’ll walk to the post box,” or “I’ll write 100 words.” Then celebrate it. These are small rebellions against despair.
I, personally, wouldn’t couch it in quite those terms. Talk of rebellion smacks of violence and there is quite enough trouble in the world without me picking a fight with my inner anarchist.
Step 4: Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Perfectionism is resilience’s nemesis. Instead, validate effort.
For MS warriors, even mundane victories matter—making a meal, walking unaided, finishing a blog post.
This shift in mindset also helped me to conserve energy—both physically and emotionally. (Read more on how I manage energy)
It’s not about winning the race; it’s about showing up with what you have.
Speaking of winning races reminds me of a time when my school insisted I take part in the cross-country race. A cross-country race may be great for building resilience but it also saps energy that I had so little of.
It was not until many years later that I could put a name to my energy drain – multiple sclerosis.
Step 5: Connect with Others
We are hard-wired for connection, yet MS can isolate.
Don’t let it.
Join a support group. Speak honestly with friends. Visit a local MS meet-up or find virtual communities. Sharing stories and listening to others is a powerful form of strengthening emotional resilience.
Read More:
Social support isn’t just comfort—it’s strategy. Social interaction develops communication skills and problem management. These are both tools you will need in your building resilience toolkit.
“Social interaction is an inherent human trait.”
Step 6: Develop Your Resilience Toolbox
Just like you wouldn’t fix a car with one tool, you can’t build resilience with one tactic. Fill your personal “toolbox” with:
- Journaling (reflective writing clears the mind)
- CBT techniques (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy reframes negative thinking)
- Mindfulness or meditation
Internal Links:
If you’re unsure where to start, Mind (UK) offers a solid intro to CBT and resilience techniques. I confess to being very sceptical about mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy. Mainly because I didn’t understand it or believe in it.
However, after taking some time to practise meditation, I finally “Got it”. It’s all about building resilience through developing a healing mindset.
Step 7: Practice Self-Compassion
This is perhaps the hardest and most essential step.
Self-compassion isn’t indulgence. It’s care. It’s the voice that says: “You’re doing your best—and that’s enough.”
“When fatigue knocked me sideways for weeks, I blamed myself for being ‘unproductive.’ But I’ve since learned that building resilience includes forgiving your limits.”
Think of self-compassion as inner scaffolding. It keeps the structure standing when storms hit.
I only began to understand true self-compassion when I read an article about self-love. Self-love to me meant selfishness and arrogance, But it’s not. It’s really about self-care.
Talking Therapy
Although not one of my core strategies for adopting a resilient mindset, talking therapy proved to be a game-changer in how I view life with MS. Years ago, I was referred to a psychiatrist, and I’ll admit, I pictured myself sprawled on a shrink’s couch, pouring out my woes in some dramatic fashion. It was nothing like that.
The psychiatrist was a kind, insightful young woman who simply encouraged me to talk—about my thoughts, my mindset, and how I truly felt about living with multiple sclerosis.
At first, I worried I was just complaining about being dealt a rough hand. But she listened patiently and, with a few well-placed questions, gently guided me through the mental fog. Eventually, I found myself standing in a kind of sunlit clearing—a new perspective where MS was no longer my enemy, but something I could live with, and even learn from. That shift in outlook marked a quiet but powerful turning point in building resilience.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are 5 ways of building resilience?
Five powerful ways of building resilience include reframing setbacks as learning opportunities, establishing consistent daily routines, setting micro-goals to rebuild confidence, celebrating progress instead of perfection, and connecting with others through MS support groups or shared communities. Each of these habits helps foster a calmer, more constructive response to life’s challenges
What are the 7 C’s of building resilience?
The 7 C’s of building resilience are competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. Together, they form a solid framework for emotional strength. Competence is knowing how to handle stressful situations; confidence is believing in your ability to do so. Connection with others provides vital support, while character reflects your moral compass. Contribution enhances self-worth through giving, coping involves healthy stress responses, and control comes from recognising what you can and can’t influence.
What does building resilience mean?
Building resilience means strengthening your ability to adapt and recover from setbacks. It involves developing the mental, emotional, and practical skills needed to keep going when life gets tough. For those of us living with MS, it’s about managing shifting symptoms, coping with uncertainty, and finding strength in support networks, personal structure, and a positive mindset.
How do you build resilience?
You build resilience by adopting habits that nurture your wellbeing. This includes creating predictable routines, practising self-compassion, seeking out connection and support, and learning from your experiences. When living with MS, it becomes a daily practice to adjust your mindset, conserve energy, and face challenges with determination and perspective.
Final Thoughts: How to Build Resilience that Lasts
Resilience is not a destination—it’s a practice. A mindset. A set of strategies you refine over time.
It took me years to learn how to build resilience with MS. I still get it wrong. But I’ve built up tools, routines, and relationships that help me bounce back faster and stronger.
So will you.
If today felt hard, that’s OK. There’s power in starting again tomorrow.
“I am an MS warrior. I don’t have to be perfect—I only have to be persistent.”
Building resilience takes patience because it’s not a quick fix—it’s a gradual process of learning, adapting, and rebuilding from the inside out. For those of us living with MS, pacing ourselves is essential, especially when fatigue can strike without warning. Breaking large tasks into bite-sized pieces doesn’t just conserve energy; it teaches us to work with our bodies rather than against them. Resilience isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about moving steadily forward, one small, intentional step at a time.
